Ridiculous is a Style...

When it comes to graduation, don't let anyone tell you I didn't go out with style... because ridiculous is definitely a style.  The big ceremony went without a hitch and was even relatively entertaining with Mayor Bloomberg taking the NC community to task for passing amendment one.  It was a proud moment seeing my class lead a standing ovation in support of equality and justice.  I was almost equally proud when he told us that when life gets hard and we feel that G-d isn't looking out for us to remember that in our freshman year we witnessed a National Championship and our senior year saw Dook lose in the first round to a 15 seed (!).  The trouble came at the department graduation.

The UNC Institute for the Environment graduated about 10 B.A. and 20 B.S. candidates as well as two doctoral candidates at Reeves Auditorium in the NC Botanical Garden.  Reeves Auditorium is a long room with a bank of windows to the audiences left that was just big enough to hold the 150 audience members.  The front "stage" area was a small cleared space for four seats for faculty and a podium.  The graduates stood in the back.  The front and the back were connected by an incredibly narrow aisle down the middle of the audience.

If you know me at all, you know that I do not like it when people stare at me.  Especially large crowds of people.  Yeah I might be loud and outgoing but I don't like being a spectacle.  So this was pretty much my worst nightmare.  Or at least that's what I thought when I thought I was going to have to walk out there once to get my diploma.  But I ended up having to walk twice.  I unexpectedly received an award for Dedication to Education and had to walk down that long, long aisle with everyone staring at me.  The clapping had subsided by the time I had gotten halfway down the aisle and had to finish my walk red-faced and in silence.  Then began the long walk back with cameras flashing and still in utter silence.  Needless to say, by the time I rejoined my class I was shaking, sweating, and near tears due to acute embarrassment and nervousness.

Almost immediately we filed out of the room and into a side hallway.  We were lined up to walk and receive our diplomas and just expected to figure out our route.  I was the third name called and I walked out staring pretty pointedly at the ground.  I received my diploma and shook Greg Ganges' hand and gave Amy Cooke a hug.  At this point I was halfway across the front of the room and needed to turn to my left and walk up the aisle to the back of the room.  But I was too embarrassed and nervous to turn and look at the audience.

Instead. I just kept walking.  I picked a door in the wall of windows and just went straight for it.  Someone had to move their kid out of the way so that I could leave.  And no one said a word.  Everyone just stared at me.  The worst was the sound of the door as it slammed behind me.  Then I realized I hadn't even escaped because the entire wall was windows.  So I walked around hoping that at any moment I could melt into the ground and slipped into the back of the room with everyone else.  The girl who walked in front of me just turned around and was asked, "so... um... where did you think you were going?".  "It was just time to leave."

When the ceremony was over, I went to go talk to my family and I could tell they were all trying really really hard to hold in their laughter.  Which lasted all of five seconds.  So while everyone else hugged their family, took pictures, and listened to their parents talk about how proud of them they were, I laughed with my family until tears ran down all of our faces.  You know those stories that you say you'll laugh about later?  This was nothing like that.  Because it was hilarious pretty immediately.

I was right though.  Sometimes it's just time to leave.  And now's that time.  It's been great, Carolina.... but  I'm OUT.