The Theme of the Past Two Days: "Um. Cool."

Everything about the past couple days has been pretty ideal.  After Avi drove me to Be'er Sheva, I hopped a bus to Eilat that stopped at Moshav Idan. The last time I talked to Adi (the woman who runs the WWOOF site for the farm), we had set a date for my arrival but hadn't discussed the time or logistics.  So when I got dropped off, there was noone to pick me up or meet me.  Now the stop for Idan is really just one of the cement bus stops on the side of the Arava highway.  The funny thing is that it's about 5 km from Idan and in the middle of the desert and so you're standing on the side of this highway with nothing but a single building as far as the eye can see.  So this other guy got off at the stop with me and sat down and I asked him which direction Idan was so that I could start walking.  He looked at me like I was bad because it was at least 38-40 C out at this point but pointed in the general direction of Idan.  So I started to pick up my bag to go and he stopped me and said his friend was picking him up and could give me a ride to.  So we waited.  But not for long because soon we saw a guy come out of the only building in sight and sprint toward us.  "Is that your friend?"  "Nope.  But..." it was someone else he vaguely knew.  A friend of a friend who invited us in.  His name was Jonatin (Yonatin.... dunno how you spell it.  It's German) and on the way he asked me where I was going.  When I told him, he knew it well and asked me if I were going to be in the greenhouse or the dairy.  When I told him the dairy he said nonchalantly "Oh, then you will be working with my sister." Um. What? Yeah.  His sister Ruth manages the dairy and she was at home and headed back to Idan in 10 minutes so she could give me a ride directly to Adi's.  Well cool.

So I got to the house and met Adi, Ynan, and their five kids.  They're super nice and speak English really well.  They told me that they were already cleaning and preparing Shabbat dinner so I should meet the other volunteer (Haley from Austin) and relax.  Also fantastic.  So on the compound I noticed a bunch of Acacias which Ynan told me were because Adi runs an Acacia nursery and conservation program.  Um. Cool. The volunteer house is near their's on this compound next to where all of the Thai workers live.  The volunteers have their own outdoor kitchen adjacent to the "pub" which is really just a small room off of the dairy which is occasionally used as a pub.  I think the pub got more use before the five kids.  There are also three horses around and they keep the male goats up at the house until mating time.  Bunchu was there chatting with Haley when we met.  He's the Thai worker that works with the goats as opposed to the tomatoes (mostly for export).  He asked me if I liked beer and/or Pad Thai.  When I said yes, we made plans for him to come the next morning and teach us how to make homemade Pad Thai.  Um. cool.  So after an enormous and delicious Shabbat meal with the best Challah I have ever had in my life, we passed out with visions of Pad Thai dancing in our heads.

This morning we were woken up to a knocking at 8 am (yay sleeping in finally!) from Bunchu.  The first step in cooking Pad Thai, apparently is opening up a half liter each of the Thai equivalent of Coor's Lite.  Um. Cool.  It's not too early for that at all.  Then we made Pad Thai.  It was delicious.  In the course of the meal he managed in really broken English to communicate that he was going to go to Jordan.  We should come.  Um. Cool.  He said we were going to go on motorbikes.  Plural.  But really that meant that all three of us were going to get on his tiny Suzuki motorbike from 1971 and pray that it made it to Jordan without breaking down on the crazy rocky dirt road towards the border.  Haley was behind him and I rode on the front.  Super safe.  Not nerve wracking or painful at all.  (But really though it was pretty fun, all told).  So we made it to the border and found out Bunchu couldn't cross because he only had a work visa.  So instead of heading into Jordan, we stopped to chat and have breakfast with the IDF soldiers at the border.  They gave us chocolate milk, coffee, and cake and we sat around getting to know each other and exchanging facebooks for an hour or so.  Then we were going to take pictures and go.  The next thing I know, one of the soldiers is putting their gun over my shoulder.  Then Bunchu is picking them all up with one arm.  Um. Cool.

Once we left, them to go patrol the border and us to ... do whatever, Bunchu decided we would go to this spot he liked.  Down the side of this really steep hill, more of a gentle cliff than anything.  But at the bottom, were these crazy rock formations and canyons from ancient tributaries to the Jordan river.  It was gorgeous.  When we could finally tear ourselves away from the view we started to head back.  Which was all great until the tiny little motorbike that could overheated from it's three passengers leaving us stranded for a half hour while it cooled off.  Which it did, luckily.  We were the kind of hot that was so hot you couldn't sweat.  I think my body just knew that sweating wasn't going to do any good and had given up because I didn't sweat until I stepped into the AC in our place.  Then suddenly it looked like Haley and I had just gone swimming.  Which we hadn't.  Yet.  Fortunately, the moshav pool a five minute walk away solved that.  Basically.  I've learned to never say no to anything.  Even if it sounds ridiculous.  Just respond with "Um. Cool."  It works out every time. 

Machines Revisited

Avi and I had our most meaningful conversation in the last 20 minutes of my stay with the Arizunis.  Avi was driving into Be'er Sheva to deliver to the shuk so I caught a ride with him.  When we passed דלק on the road I tried to explain Daleks and Doctor Who to him.  Which of course became a conversation about the Matrix.  After five or ten minutes we lapsed into silence followed by us both remarking simultaneously that real life isn't that far off from either.

Most of the world spends their days doing relatively the same thing day in and day out.  A small screw in a large machine, Avi described it as.  It's hard to see that you're even a part of something or that work makes a perceptible difference until you've been doing it for several years.  Maybe that's satisfying for you and maybe it's not.  You're "free" though so you work more and more hoping to one day earn enough money to get out and do whatever you want.  There are brief moments in there when everything is perfect and happy but that always has to end because work is always looming.  Or payments need to be made on something.  Or you have other obligations.  You don't really have a choice.  But when you're on a farm.  Well, for the most part.  You can do what you want.  At least here.  Ezuz was the middle of nowhere.  Who's going to check on you.  Avi owns the farm outright and scavenges all of his building materials from the shut down IDF base nearby.  So what does he need to buy?  A thing or two every once in a while.  Clothes.  Medical expenses.  Gas once a month.  So he sells fruit when he needs to.  Otherwise, they feed themselves.  He called it a little piece of paradise outside of the system.

Now I'm not going to say that he's right or that this is how the world works.  But that's how it feels most of the time.  Living in the middle of nowhere with only what you can grow isn't for everyone but for the most part it suited me just fine.  There has to be some kind of medium.  Living in a city and working a regular job isn't the worst thing that could possibly happen.  But it was refreshing to hear someone explain their life choices in words that had run through my mind for such a long time.  I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Farming

I love it.  But really.  So here are some fun numbers about what I've been doing the past two weeks (sorry I couldn't make an infographic for you, LA) without all that qualitative mumbo jumbo like "my hands are so dry and calloused I can hardly bend them. oops".  THEN you have my comprehensive list about why I love growing food.  Too much fantastic to handle? Probably.

Trees I weeded: 135
Trees with crabgrass that I had to dig out and cover with rocks/cardboard: 37
Scorpion stings: 1
Fly bites: 9872509348570293487502983475
Bee stings: 4
Large holes dug into sand with a hoe: 13
Large holes dug into solid rock with a hoe: 5
Buckets of water carried across the orchard to fill the aforementioned holes: 19
Post holes dug with a bulldozer attachement: 18
Aphid infestations dealt with: 1
Boxes of Basil harvested: 2.5
Boxes of cucumbers harvested: 8
Boxes of baby greens harvested 6
Pallets of fruit picked: 214.5
Pallets of fruit carried: 94832750938475089273495087234
Pallets of fruit split, cored, and dried: 20
Boxes of fruit packed: 61
Ladders I climbed: 93
Ladders I climbed safely: 0
Legs of ladder on the ground at any given time on average (out of four): 2
Number of times the ladder fell out from under me while I was sitting on top of it: 2
Average number of my feet on a ladder at any given time: 0.72
Post cables run and then tightened: 30
Batches of cement mixed: 3
Cement post holes filled: 28
Acacias removed (yes, it did break my heart but it was an obnoxious ornamental): 1
Barrels of compost aerated: 3
Large stones carried: 2439582439085
Fly traps set: 45

Note: the pallets here are not those huge impressive wooden ones though, they're more medium sized plastic cartons but they call them pallets so.... Their boxes for packing are the same as packing fruit in the US though so that's handy.

Why I love farming:

1.  Plants are way more uninhibitedly alive than people.  Everything about them screams tenacity and growth.  Unless they're dying.  Then it's just sad.  But in general, plants are just so alive.  You can weed one day and see new growth or a change in color on the plant the next.  
2. Food you grow yourself is so incredibly delicious.
3. It wakes you up for the sunrise and doesn't let you go to sleep until sunset (depending on the type of farm and the amount of work and season of course).  So you get to witness the two most beautiful parts of the day.  Also, as a result, you usually end up eating dinner under the stars. 
4. You get to play in the dirt all day.
5. Power tools.
6. Just plain old tools.
7. You can eat on the job and not feel guilty about it at all.  I mean, that one totally had a spot on it.  No one was going to buy it anyways.
8. At the end of the day (and sometimes in the middle) you don't have to feel bad about taking a shower because it's not a waste of water.  You aren't just showering out of convention or because if you don't your face might look a bit oily.... you freaking deserve it.  
9. Small farmers like meeting other small farmers.  There aren't a lot left!
10. You get to dig holes.  It's pretty satisfying.
11.  Killing aphids.
12. Breaks are more like picnics
13. You are pretty much required to wear the most comfortable, worn out, hole filled clothing you own.  Which is fantastic.  Sweats, sandals, and the largest t shirt I own for work? Yes, please.
14. Farmer muscles.
15. Having animals around. I mean... fresh goat cheese and yogurt, anyone?
16. You can listen to music while you work.  Whatever you want.  At whatever volume.
17. Selling people something you raised/ made/ grew/ whatever is super satisfying.
18. Clothes get worn out and comfy really quickly but if they're made well it doesn't matter and you can keep wearing the snuggliest clothes forever.
19. Callouses.
20. Plants and bugs and soil and water all interact in super cool ways.  

This list could also be entitled "Why WWOOFing Feels Like a Vacation Even Though It Probably Shouldn't"

The Matrix

Anyone who has talked to me in the past week knows that it's lonely here.  In a town of seventeen families, I have only spoken to my host family (the Arizunis), two volunteers at a nearby farm, and two random Americans at the pool in a moshav 20 km away.  Moreover, the Arizunis quite understandably speak in mostly Hebrew.  Even though they make an effort to speak to me in English, it's been hard to connect with them.  It's not even just that it's difficult to communicate but I feel as if speaking to them in English, interrupting the seamless flow of dinner conversation or the silence of a lazy afternoon, is a huge imposition on them.  They've been so nice that I just can't bring myself to do it.  So I remain silent and leave meals early to give them time to chat and I keep to myself.

Then they found out that I had never seen the Matrix.  I thought their eyes were all going to collectively fall from their heads.  There was a long silence and then everyone started talking at once.  Some worriedly to one another in Hebrew, some in shocked English, and some in a panicked combination.  Let me be clear, this in no way solved the culture gap or has made me feel any less timid about my position as the only volunteer on this farm.  However, my relationship with the family has gone from "day laborer who enjoys food privileges and a rare chat around the meal table" to "day laborer who enjoys food privileges and a rare chat around the meal table AND who we must teach about the Matrix".

This is an important change because in the past week I have been privy to three incredible movie viewings.  On top of that, they have begun bringing me to the pool at the moshav down the road every few days when they go.  It's so much easier for me to communicate with them when we're sharing these secret moments of bliss.  And there's no other word for either experience than bliss.  I can forget that I'm lonely and have little in common with this family.  I can forget the heat.  I forget all of my inhibitions.  I forget my problems and responsibilities and endless worries.

Swimming is obvious.  I'm so much better on water than land.  So much more fluid and relaxed.  Moreover, it's the one thing I can connect with the kids about and since Tamar and Avi live for their kids, it's the one thing I can really connect with them all about.  I taught them to do handstands and Tamar and I worked with Lulu on her swimming.  I showed up the cocky teenage boys who annoy/bully Raz in an underwater swimming competition (two lengths in a single breath) and they were so embarrassed they left the pool.  It was nice to not have to talk, for communication to come easily.

Watching a movie with them is more than a connection, though, it's sacred.  A privilege.  The movies are shown on a projector screen that they hang in the kitchen.  The house is made of two train cars pushed into a "T" with the wall opened up so it feels like two spacious hallways more than a house.  I feel like there's some sort of wonderful symmetry that their house is shaped like a "T" while my house in California looks like a "U". So where the two intersect is where I like to think that the kitchen ends and their living room area begins - not that there are really any partitions in the space.  Two of the viewings took place in the hottest part of the day.  We covered the windows with sheets and turned on a fan.  Pressing my full body against the cold metal floor with the fan pointed at me was my first relief from the heat and the flies for the day and it was magnificent.  With the lights down and the projector swaying slightly in the occasional breeze that made it through the sheets, it felt like I was on a different continent.  Someplace cool and slightly moist.  In the middle of the film, though, it stopped and the lights went up.  Long enough for a bathroom break, I thought.  Really, it was long enough for Tamar to get chocolate.  Delicious dark chocolate that melted in your mouth.  Four tiny squares with every viewing.  The only processed food in the house.  The last Matrix we just watched at night.  Since it was warmer, we could put mattresses on the floor and not worry about sweating.  Every time the sentinels broke through to the dock there was a collective gasp.  I'm not going to lie, only their youngest  and I covered our eyes but you know I don't do action/adventure often!  Walking out into the stars with the now cool air on my skin and the soft well worn sand path beneath my feet, I felt like I was finally starting to get it.  The Arizunis and I will never be pen pals.  I probably will never come back.  But we'll always have the Matrix (all three of them).

Random Photo Update

Just for Kelsey Merlo
So here's a smattering of the photos I've taken thus far :)

Pre-Israel Linsanity ice cream in chinatown in NYC

Haifa from the Bahai Gardens

Land mines in the Golan Heights

Who knew capers were so pretty?

Overlooking the border and the valley of tears

Synagogue in Tzfat

More synagogue, more Tzfat

FALAFEL (in Jerusalem after our accidental front row center seats at the Mega-event)

Masada Pre-sunrise (LtoR: mini-Wilco, Emma Leigh, Michelle, Me, and Ryan)

Ibex! At Ben Gurion's memorial.... aka Yael.  Yup. Fate.

Of course there were acacias at Ben Gurion's memorial. Love.

the Negev before it was my home

Katie and I at mini-Israel

Best. Photograph. Ever.  And a very accurate portrayal of my friendship with Daniel :P

WILCO SANDWICH

Street Art Market setting up beneath my CS flat in Jerusalem

Sunset on the beach in Tel Aviv with Amanda

Sunrise over the Negev on my way to work one morning... oh hey 5 am

The orchard at Arizuni farm

Courtesy of the other volunteer .... me in the orchard 

there was a random "flood" from rains 30 km away.... so of course everyone went to play in it

The almost dried mud felt like walking through melted american cheese 

view from my porch out into the desert

Muddy Boots out front

Oh did I mention the volunteer cabin is a renovated train car with a porch? .... YUP

Balance

In case you haven't been paying attention, I am currently volunteering at Arizuni Farm in Ezuz.  Ezuz is  an hour and a half southwest of Be'er Sheva which is - in it's own right - in the middle of the desert.  The Negev Desert, to be specific.  The farm is run by Avi and his wife Tamar and the only labor for his orchard, two fields for wheat, vegetable garden, greenhouse, and livestock is himself, his wife, their four kids, and any volunteers that happen along.  The oldest boy Raz (16) is now away at high school because they are too far away from civilization to commute but Shahar (14), Rotem (12), and Lulu (8) still live at home and are home schooled.  For an orchard that's only 10 years old and in the middle of the desert, it's incredibly productive.  It already produces enough for them to sell olives, apricots, plums, peaches, lemons, nectarines, pears, and apples (loads of varieties of each of these) as well as provide them to restaurants, dry loads of them, and make tons of preserves and jams.  Did I mention that they're in the middle of the desert and they only use one sixth of the water allotted to them from the well.  They owe it all to care and hard work, organic ingenuity, and ancient Nabatean irrigation techniques (no, I'm not concerned enough to look up how to spell that).

Now here are the highlights of what I love about Arizuni Farm:

1. The Negev - It's just plain gorgeous here.  There's no way around it.  The stars might not be as spectacular as in Kenya but they're pretty damn close.  Even when it's hot and you can see the heat radiating from the ground the lines of white sand and rocks are pretty breathtaking against the sky and the purple hills in the background.  The sand is so soft you can walk around barefoot within the compound where there are no thorns.  Looking into the orchard or the fields from above on my 20 minute walk through the desert to work is like stumbling onto an oasis every time.  

2. Siesta - We work from 5 am to around 11 am and then break until 5 pm and work through to 7:30 pm.  It's just not possible to work any longer than that.  Already by 9 am you're pushing into extreme heat.  So the middle of the day gives you a long long siesta.  You can read or work or more likely nap.  Sometimes the Arizunis watch classic movies on a projector in their living room.  Siestas here are even better than in Spain!

3. The Lodging - I'm living in a renovated train car with a porch and a swing.  There's so much charm and homemade craftiness I don't know what to do with myself.

4. The Food - Tamar. Is. A. Genius.  She makes the best most wholesome meals.  The first night was homemade pizza.  Everything was from the farm except the wheat for the flour (Avi and I are prepping the fields for growing wheat for next year as we speak).  The lunches are full of homemade cheese and bread as well as my favorite Schug (a spread of ground herbs that's spicy and delicious).  The best is the fresh yogurt from goats milk. I have a cup of yogurt and fresh homemade bread (baked daily) with fresh butter and jam every morning.  Pears are just coming into season so there's always fresh pears for me.  The beans she made last night were heavenly.  If I could cook for myself half as well as she cooks for the family, the volunteers, and to sell I would never go hungry again.

5. Library - I had completely forgotten how much I loved to read before High School and University did everything they could to beat it out of me.  Lucky for me I got here to loads of tranquility, peaceful places to sit, and books on every shelf.  I usually start a novel in the morning and read all through my siesta and late into the night.  I never liked sleep much anyways...

6. Cold Showers - After a long day working in the desert, a cold shower might be the most blissful thing I've ever experienced.  A true luxury.

7. Steady Hard Work - It just kind of gives you that satisfied feeling at the end of the day to know you worked with your hands to grow things all day.  It took a day or two to get used to but now I love it.

8. Thea (+Manon and Justin) - Thea is volunteering here with me and is an American (originally from New Mexico) who made Aliyah to Israel a year ago but has been living here for three years.  She's been great company and wonderful helping me transition at the farm.  I can't wait to steal her room but will be very sad to see her go tomorrow. Manon and Justin work at the goat farm down the way and invited us for homemade crêpes the other day.  Manon is a lively French girl going to agricultural school and Justin is a 40 year old ex professional rugby player (league, not union) who has just been traveling around the world farming for 5 years.

9. The Family - The Arizuni's are really sweet people.  Everyone know's I'm not a kid person but these are pretty sweet.  Tamar is incredibly interesting and knows everything and Avi is a jolly man full of infinite calm and wisdom.

10. Sunrise - I have tried in vain to take pictures for the past few days but it's not capturable.  Sunsets in Tanzania and Kenya have no rival but Sunrises here are just as unique.  I really couldn't describe them if I tried.


and things I hate:

1. Flies - They BITE. And they're EVERYWHERE.  They're clever too.  They wait until you're in awful positions such as holding a palate of fruit or trying to take a nap and then they bite your arms or your face or any exposed skin.  Sometimes it doesn't even have to be exposed.  They'll bite you through your shirt.  It's horrifying to watch them slowly stick their suckers into your skin.  They once even waited until I was going to the bathroom in the field to bite me.  There were none around when I was looking for a place to go and I thought I was lucky!  I hate them with a fiery passion undying.  I hate them more than dook and the lakers combined.  No but really.

2. Scorpions - When I was working in the field I was hacking away at the ground with a hand hoe and suddenly I looked down at my fortunately gloved hand to see that a yellow scorpion (semi-poisonous and known to hurt like a bitch) had crawled out from under the cardboard (explained under #6) and onto my hand.  It was also very agitated.  And stung me.  Which wasn't very nice.  Luckily my padre bought me extra thick work gloves that saved my life (hey.... they're known to kill once every five years... mostly infants... but they hurt everyone!).  

3. Ani Lo Metaberet Evreet - It's really hard to enjoy dinner and eat slow and talk and laugh with the family when I have no freaking clue what they're saying.  They try to speak English for the things that are relevant to me and devote about 5-10 minutes every meal for a conversation just with me but it's still frustrating.  I always finish my meal early but can't leave because I don't want to be rude or interrupt their conversation.  So I just sit there and listen to the Hebrew and play with stones on the ground and wait when really I would rather be back in our train car reading.  Sigh.

4. Lack of sugar - The Arizunis are clearly not very big on processed foods.  That's why they live in the middle of nowhere and run an organic farm.  But a diet coke every once in a while would be really nice.  Sweetening my yogurt with sugar helps but it's not quite the same is it?

5. Dehydration (my fault, I know) - One afternoon when there had been thieves about (explain later), I was sent to guard the orchard.  Everyone was taking shifts and I was feeling pretty good after morning work so if I took the 11 am to 5 pm shift I wouldn't have to work the evening work.  Pretty good deal, right? Wrong! I completely forgot how freaking hot it would be! I couldn't even sit on the mattress in the shaded greenhouse because they had just released bees in there to pollinate the melons.  Basically, the next day was awful and I got pretty miserably sick and ended up having to drink a homemade rehydration mixture of water, salt, and sugar that was pretty vomit inducing.  I'm fine now but I learned my lesson and will never skip siesta again.  Luckily they caught the thieves so I don't have to.

6. Crabgrass -  Guess what? There's crabgrass everywhere.  Even in the middle of the desert.  Since this is a small organic no till farm, the best solution is to hand weed it and then cover the area with cardboard so it can't photosynthesize.  Cardboard that hides scorpions and stink bugs and spiders that jump and dung beetles, etc.  Let's go over this again. Hand. Weeding. Crabgrass. In. The. Desert.  It's back breaking working when it's not in 115 degree heat.  Luckily, I'm done with that for now.  I weeded the olive trees surrounding the two lower fields and two thirds of the orchard while Thea covered it all behind me carrying stones in from the desert.  It was pretty brutal.  

7. Planes - We're right on the Egyptian border so military planes from Israel pass overhead constantly. Today hasn't been so bad but at twilight when they're sending out very low planes to supervise the border, it's a constant reminder of the political instability in the area.  There's no escaping it.  In addition, there are loads of IDF bases in the area that train in the desert so you hear booms that rattle the windows in the night as they practice who knows what with their tanks.  It's a crazy contrast to the peace of the Negev

8. Flies

9. Flies

10. Flies


So I mentioned thieves earlier.  It's kind of a crazy story.  The night I arrived, Rotem had seen thieves in the orchard.  Apparently they had been stealing random things for a week and finally had cut the fence to get food.  Avi and Shahar tracked them to a small shantytown near the border and called the army.  The next morning Avi escorts me to the field with a machine gun and tells me he's going to be guarding the field.  He says that the army and the police are no use because they're not authorized to shoot  the thieves.  Hum.  This began the round the clock shifts of people watching the orchard until the police arrived during my torturous siesta shift.  It turns out that the shantytown was most likely Palestinians illegally working in Israel building a wall that the Israeli government had contracted out.  Ironically, the wall was to go through the desert to keep out illegally refugees and immigrants from Sudan, Somalia, Eritrea, etc. from crossing into Israel.  Well needless to say lots of people didn't like this wall.  When does anyone agree on anything politically in Israel? Especially about minority groups and security.  So some terrorists took it upon themselves to blow up this wall.  Two of them stood too close to the explosion and blew themselves up in the process but the third was at large.  This meant that the whole area was shut down.  No buses and the army combing the desert.  The upside to all of this for Avi and the farm is that all of the illegal Palestinians abandoned their homes in the desert to avoid being sent back to the west bank.  So no more guarding the orchard.  Also ridiculous... they gave the guard dog meat to shut her up but only stole a little bit of fruit.  I mean, what?

So this all wraps up with a thought that Avi left me with in his infinite wisdom.  Any time you ask him about anything, the farm, politics, life, etc.  He always has relatively the same answer.  He'll give his opinion and then wrap it up with, "I mean.... it will all.... balance. You know? Must have balance."  When I got dehydrated, he told me to rest more and not work so constantly.  "You work hard," he said, "but you need more balance.  Take time... look at the birds... listen to them... drink water.  Then you will have balance".  Balance might be the best thing I could possibly learn here at Arizuni farms.  That and their crazy impressive irrigation/ terracing techniques.

All my love from the Negev and I'll try to update with pictures soon.


P.S.  If I find a job/ have the money I might go farm in Sinai after goats & beer in Eilat and my birthday.  This guy on the bust Allen told me about it.  Sounds legit.

Devastated

I'm only posting this here because I only want to say it once.  Twice if you include my call to my parents.  So y'all know that I was told I would be leaving September 25 for West Africa and it was just pending medical approval.  Well it's been taking longer than I expected.  Two and a half weeks longer. I finally realized that we have internet access here in the Negev (I have so many wonderful things to tell the world about this place but I can hardly think of them now... that post will have to come later) and so I immediately went to check for the two emails I was hoping for.  I was so excited when I got one from my PC placement officer.  But instead of news as to where I would be living for the next 2-4 years it said this:

"I hope you are enjoying your time in Israel.  I am writing to inform you that I was not able to get authorization to invite you to the program where I was hoping to assign you.  In fact, given your medical accommodation, it looks there may be a significant delay in your invitation process.  We will not be able to invite you to a program departing in September, and our next quarter—October through December—is the time of year when we have the lowest level of requests for volunteers.  Therefore, we will have to look at program options that depart after the New Year.

Additionally, they asked if I would be willing to do youth development since it's hard to find a rural placement for me given whatever they feel my necessary medical accommodations would be (yeah, I still have no clue on that one).   This kind of leaves me in a huge predicament.  I don't own anything.  Haven't looked for a job at all.  Have no place to live.  And I'm in the middle of the dessert a bajillion miles away from where I need to be figuring me life out.  Which, to be fair, is probably for the best.

My game plan right now is to extend my trip another month.  To spend time here WWOOFing for free until September.  Unfortunately, I can't WWOOF in the US when I get back because I need to pay off the rest of my student loans.  So if anyone knows of any ag jobs.... or asian food delivery since we know I'm good at that.... let me know.  At least we know that Frank in Chapel Hill is always looking for homecare :P.  If dad needs the truck back before September I also might not be able to drive cross country and see you all so just be prepared for that too.

I'm pretty crazy disappointed and shocked but I'm sure something good will come of this.  Just can't really see it right now.  I'll send you all of my incredible stories from Israel soon including my war against crabgrass and biting flies as well as my near death experience with a scorpion soon.  

Life is Beautiful

I think after about the 6th or 7th day on Taglit I stopped being able to process anything more.  It was just too much in too little time.  I think the last day I remember really being able to take everything in was Monday.  We woke up at 3:30 am to hike to the top of Masada, had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, made our way back down, swam int he dead sea, drove an hour, rode camels, went to Ben Gurion's grave, and then had dinner and slept in a bedouin tent.  Just your average day, huh?

Sunrise on Masada was incredible.  The sun came up over the hills and cliffs of the desert and shone on the dead sea.  We watched it while perched on an ancient ramparts that had once been the stronghold which defended Israel's salt riches.  It only took about 20 seconds to rise but I've lapsed it into 7 for the video I'm making about Taglit.  It should be ready by the time I leave Jerusalem for Ezuz on Sunday.  Here's a sneak peak:

 

We then had our Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony for a bunch of us in the ancient Synagogue of Masada.  It was strange knowing that this zealot Jewish community met there to pray and to consider the fact that they were under siege.  Many of them probably stood in that same spot as they decided to take their own lives rather than accept Roman defeat and enslavement.  It was a place so steeped in tradition and ideals.  Not a bad way to publicly become a Jewish woman, huh?  Though, if you know me at all you know I was shaking so badly throughout the whole thing that it was hard to stand.  Despite being super nervous, I made it through and didn't mess up anything too horribly.

Then, Amanda arranged the letters.  I was doing so well.  I was holding myself together after the hyper emotional day we had had the day before.  But then we got letters.  On top of Masada.  From our parents.  I think everyone in our group immediately began bawling.  It was so good to hear from them.  Though I'm sure losing water and salt right before a 45 minute hike down a mountain in the desert was not what my body wanted.

Speaking of a hike down a cliff.... we took the roman ramp up (an easy ish 15 to 20 minutes up a steep ramp that the Romans built while besieging the city) but instead of taking the easy way down, we decided it was a good idea to take the five bajillion steep slippery steps down the other side of the cliff.  After the sun had come up.  In the desert.  Because that all makes sense. I don't think my knees have ever rebelled against me more.  It's on par with that final rugby match at nationals.  I pretty much had to lean on my friend Daniel like a little old lady most of the way down after my right knee locked up.  Bleh.

Luckily it unstuck in the dead sea.  After I smeared myself with mineral mud and waded in.  I am super mixed in my feelings about the dead sea.  On one hand.  It's super super cool.  There are mineral crystals floating int he water and condensed crystals coating the bottom.  There are large walls of salt in lines and dams across the water.  Despite all of that, it's completely clear.  You can see the bottom from anywhere despite the greenish turquoise tint.  It's insane.  On the other hand, it's HOT.  It's not refreshing.  It's hard even to get your shoulders wet because it's so buoyant.  It burns.  Especially for those of us who are prone to bug bites.  It burns your eyes if you get even the tiniest droplet in them.  Makes you go blind.  Crusts on your lips and tastes horrible, etc.  But did I mention that it's SUPER COOL? The flakes of minerals floating in the water look like snow.

The camel riding and bedouin tents were super depressing.  At least for me.  We went to a presentation by a Bedouin man about his culture and customs and he just seemed so tired and disinterested.  Then when I asked him a question about whether youth was leaving their way of life in droves his eyes lit up and he started talking to me about their problems.  About not having enough land or interest to maintain their old ways of life.  About the kids all leaving for the cities and for military service.  Everyone I saw who worked there looked like they wanted to be doing nothing less than selling their culture to the lowest bidder.  But that's what they had left.  I suppose it's good that people can go and experience life in the desert for an evening and ostensibly learn about Bedouin culture but I couldn't help but be pretty depressed by the whole thing.

In between camel rides and hanging out by the fire at the camp, we visited Ben Gurion's grave.  A man who was not only important politically but also lived on a Kibbutz and wanted to turn the desert into a forest.  My kind of guy.  His grave is next to an institute built for desert research and learning.  On the lot are planted hundreds of ACACIAS! Ibexes were roaming about and it turns out my Hebrew nam, Yael, also means Ibex.  Cool?

The next day we took a hike in the desert and unlike our other hikes/ nature walks it wasn't a frustrating/painful experience.  Instead of walking 200 feet and then stopping and chatting for an hour (not as much of an exaggeration as one would think), we actually would go a decent distance before stopping for breaks.  The best part was that we did it in complete silence so that we could all think and process and take in the beautiful desert. Or, if you're Daniel and I, some silent time to collect rocks and snail shells.  Or, if you're me, time during meditation to make a rock sculpture entitled "Duck of the Desert".  Because it looks like a duck, get it?

After the hike we trekked North to drop off our Israeli peers at various places where they could catch buses home or to their respective bases.  It was super depressing to leave them all but luckily I will get to see most of them in Tel Aviv for my birthday.  It was also pretty depressing for me at least to leave the desert.  I feel like I might have missed some things in there but it really HAS all been a blur.

That night, we stayed in a Kibbutz outside of Jerusalem and got to come into the city for a night out on Ben Yehuda street.  It was kind of crazy touristy but I managed to meet this awesome guy at one of the market stalls in an alley and convince him to give me this awesome necklace and throw in a bracelet for Katie for 100 nis (about $25)... the original price was 240 nis.  On a scale to loving to bargain, I'm about a 50 million.  I also convinced a bartender to pour me drinks that were about 80% alcohol.  After he'd finished pouring the second like that, I quickly drank down a quarter and told him he had forgotten some vodka.  Clearly dad taught me well with the whole whipped cream/ hot cocoa thing when I was little because it worked quite well.  Point was, we had a great night out dancing and reveling in the cool Jerusalem night air.

Wednesday we went to Tel Aviv and the Mediterranean and it made me miss all of my wonderful friends in Europe so much.  It was great to be on the beach but what is a beach without Rodrigo teaching you to body surf or a cold Italian beer in your hand.  Just wanted to throw in that I definitely haven't forgotten you all and wish you could be here with me.

The place we stayed at had a SPECTACULAR view overlooking Jerusalem.  I hope someone got a photo of the sunset and/or the city lights sparkling.  If you tried really hard and took some really sketchy pathways you could get away from the buildings and just sit and look at the city lights mirroring the stars.  It was pretty breathtaking.

I left everyone at the airport yesterday and sat with Amanda and got my life sorted.  It was pretty rough leaving Michelle Wilco but considering I'll get to see her in August (when she's Kelsey Merlo's roommate? Pretty please?) it wasn't SO awful. While we were waiting to surprise Amanda's friend at the airport, I put up a post on the emergency CS Jerusalem site because my place to stay for the evening had fallen through.  I also skyped with my parents and Kelsey Merlo and brodre!.  Anyways.  Within two hours I had gotten four hosts messaging me to take me in.  I never cease to be amazed by the CS community and how wonderful the world can be.

So that brings me to now.  I'm sitting in a flat overlooking a small pedestrian way near ben yehuda street and the market and about six minutes from the old city.  There's so much light in this place and a breeze is coming through the open door.  I can hear citizens and tourists alike haggling (with varying levels of success) with the artists and traffic moving slowly down a nearby boulevard.  It's beautiful.  Maybe a stroll through the market? Maybe some time for prayer and reflection at the Kotel? Maybe meeting up with friends? Maybe some falafel? The possibilities are endless.

P.S. sorry for the travel journal post.  You know I try to stay away from "I did x and then y and then z" but I just wanted to fill you in on as much as possible.  There was too much to pick out any individual stories that y'all might appreciate.  Hopefully when I'm on the farms in the next month things will come at me a bit slower and I'll be able to update more so it will be less of a mess.

So Nice to Have an End at the Beginning

It's weird to sit in Ben Gurion Airport in Israel when I've already been in Israel for 10 days now but we were part of the group from beginning to end which meant a return bus ride to the airport.  So now I'm sitting with my trip leader and friend Amanda in the airport enjoying some unscheduled down time.  This is actually quite a privilege The trip was such a whirlwind.  One minute we were all bawling and then next laughing and the next exhausted and complaining about one more amazing hike.  It was just so tiring in the best possible way.  Everyone has left and I've been sitting here sorting out my life and talking to my parents on skype!!  I finally got my phone to work and I have a charged phone/ computer.  So I can get back on the road!

I never cease to be amazed by the CS community.  I couldn't get reliable internet to arrange anything or to get a hold of my friend Jonathan in Jerusalem or people who know people in Jerusalem so I've been kind of stressing about where I might sleep tonight.  I posted on the last minute couch request group and within 10 minutes I had three host responses.  I am overwhelmed by that kind of response and can't wait to renew my travels.  It reminds me of that anxious nervous I felt two years ago.

Finishing out our trip was Tel Aviv, Independence Hall, going out in Jerusalem, Markets, group activities, bedouin tents, nature hikes, and Mini Israel (actually a miniature -- think mini-golf-- version of Israel. Crazy!).  I'm sure I'm forgetting loads but I will have to recount those adventures to you later when I'm less frazzled and reflective.

I've never been so grateful for a trip or opportunity than the one that brought me here and this appreciation is compounded by this moment I'm getting now.  It's a moment of reflection.  See, one program is ending right at the beginning of my real adventures so I have a moment to think about how I've been able to take everything in so far and how I might be able to better appreciate my travels from here on out.  I can make a list of places I want to go, people I want to visit.  It's the end of my Taglit trip but not goodbye to Israel by any means.  I can only imagine if I'd gotten that same opportunity to take a victory lap after my trip to Europe or East Africa!!

So for now I just have to finish this bag of falafel flavored crisps, slowly make my way to Jerusalem, relax, get my life together, and maybe meet up with Bryce Chiodo (from Mira Loma) for falafel.  Today has been a beautiful day for recognizing how truly privileged I am.  I am so ready for the rest of this trip!

Update: I'm in Jerusalem through Shabbat and then might visit a friend in Tel Aviv Saturday night.  Either way, I leave on Sunday for Be'er Sheva to take the 19:00 44 bus to Ezuz where I will be met by Avi my first WWOOF host.  I will be there until the morning of the 29th when I set out for Eilat to meet my second host at Kayema Farms.  I will be there until my birthday when I will travel back North to Tel Aviv to celebrate with our Israeli soldier peers from Taglit.  I can't wait!  After that.... well, I'll decide that later.  My return flight is set for August 7 back to JFK.

Today: endless tears; Tomorrow: endless smiles

Today we visited Mt. Herzl in the morning which is a national monument surrounding the grave of the father of Zionism, Benjamin Ze'ev Theodor Herzl who never got to see the creation of the Israeli state.  Mt. Herzl is also the home of the national cemetery for Israeli politicians and soldiers.  If that wasn't enough, it is also the home of Yad Veshem, the Holocaust memorial.

I held myself together through all of the stories of Israeli war heroes--- barely.  But then we reached the end.  At the end of the path through the national cemetery, you reach the most recent graves.  The combination of the open grass waiting for new graves and this young soldier named Hilla's grave just made me break down completely.  I guess I've been doing a lot of that recently?  What struck me most was her photograph and how recent her memorial was.  One of our Israeli peers told me that it was a girl who had been participating as a soldier in some memorial ceremony who had been struck by a light falling from the stage.  There was just some awful juxtaposition between all of the other deaths we had heard and something that seemed just as senseless and random to me.  I understand that there are some things that people find worth fighting for.  I understand heroism.  But somehow getting struck by that light in the middle of a military ceremony and being struck down in an act of aggression didn't seem so different to me.  They just don't make sense on a very human level.  Worse, her parents were standing next to her grave.  Everyone filed past but I couldn't help watch her parents at her graveside.  They just stood there and talked and cleaner her grave as if she was still there and they were cleaning her room quietly so that she wouldn't wake up.  I wanted to feel some fraction of their loss so that maybe I could take just a fraction of their burden.  I had no idea what to do.  So I unwound the portion of my bracelet from Esilalei Boma that broke off shortly after I got back to the US and went to ask her mother for permission to place it on her grave.  Her mother put it down for me and gave me the biggest hug.  I have no words for how incredibly sad that moment was but I'm glad it happened.

I can't even really begin to explain Yad Veshem.  I'll try though.  Hearing about how many people died of starvation in the ghettos was awful.  There was a story of a young orphan snatching a bag as a woman exited a store in the ghetto.  The woman chased after him but the boy was running away trying to eat as much as she could before she caught him.  This was all apparently pretty normal but when he collapsed, it was not normal.  It turned out that the bag had been filled with cleaning supplies and the woman hadn't been yelling at him because she wanted to punish him but because she wanted him to know that it wasn't food.  He was so hungry that he didn't taste the difference as he poisoned himself to death.  I thought that hearing about Mengele's experiments at Auschwitz or the SS mass murder of Jews prior to the concentration camps would be the most difficult things for me to deal with.  However, I never knew about the gas chambers that you don't visit.  Camps where tens of thousands of jews were brought to buildings the size of two barns and systematically murdered in the course of a half hour.  There were 3 survivors who ran as they were being forced to remove the bodies of their families.  Or about the women who marched 500 miles in 3.5 months.  Out of the 10,000 or so of them, only 1,259 survived.  Those that made it to liberation did not all survive due to malnutrition and exhaustion.  There was a nazi propaganda video about the ghettos where all of the Jews looked happy.  They had auditioned for the parts and thought that they would get privileges from being in the video.  Instead they were murdered after the video was made to keep the secret that it was just propaganda.  The testimonies of the people who were saved by courageous non-minority citizens was incredibly powerful.  It all ended with a circular room two stories tall where floor to ceiling shelves were filled with binders of 4 million names of those killed in the Holocaust.  Many of them were accompanied by photographs.  The remaining third of the shelves was empty for the 2 million identified in German records whose entire lives were erased in the course of a few years.  No record of them has been recovered.  I can't even conceptualize that much loss. One third of the Jewish population in the world was murdered.  If you know three jews, statistically one of them would have died in the Holocaust.  On top of that, there were millions of other minority groups that were persecuted as well.  It's just horrifying and mind boggling to think of.

There was not a dry eye today but tomorrow there won't be a face without a smile.  We just have to keep looking forward.  Tomorrow we wake up at three thirty am to hike the Roman ramp up to the top of Masada where the Jews took their own lives instead of accepting slavery and persecution under the Romans.  At the top, we will watch the sun rise over the desert and then I will be having my Bat Mitzvah in their ancient Synagogue.  I will be saying the Aliyah and reading from the Torah as well as giving a speech about why this is important to me and reflecting on my role in the Jewish community.  We immediately go then to bathe in the Dead Sea and then to ride on camels through the desert to a Bedouin tourist attraction where we'll be staying in a Bedouin tent for the evening.  The next morning we hike through the desert to an oasis waterfall.  It is going to be incredible.  Sorry for the depressing post but these are things that I want to hold with me and want you all to understand.  No matter what side you're on politically or how you feel about historical events, it's always important to remember a massive loss of human life like these events.

I thought Israel Would Be LESS Overwhelming?

It’s our third night in Jerusalem and we leave tomorrow for Mt. Herzl and Yad Veshem.  It’s been the most incredible experience to be here.  The first couple days it was so hard to feel connected to this land and I was afraid that the next few months were going to be scary and difficult.  Then we came to Yerushelayim.  It’s gorgeous.  We have done so much, hiked through the Golan Heights, bathed in hot springs by the Sea of Galilee (actually a freshwater lake),  trekked through and then went rafting in the Jordan River, visited synagogues in Tzfat, bathed in a spring fed “waterfall” in the Golan Heights, saw Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon from a distance, sat on top of an IDF bunker while listening to a story about the Valley of Tears, etc.  I got to celebrate Shabbat in Jerusalem and went to an Orthodox service with some friends.  I decided to have a Bat Mitzvah that is happening at sunrise on top of Masada on Monday.  I can’t even begin to express what that will mean to me.  But here is a highlight reel of the top two moments here in Jerusalem:

1.     The Mega-event.  Each birthright trip is organized so that one day they go to a mega-event with every single Taglit (birthright) participant in the country at that time.  There are thousands of people and they have top Israeli performers and actors and models and politicians come and get the Taglit participants excited about Israel.  Before we went, I thought this was going to be incredibly dumb.  And it would have been.  If my life weren’t…. my life.  When we got there, we were told that this was the one meal today we would be buying for ourselves and we would have to buy it IN the venue.  So we go in and move with thousands of other people towards the food kiosks amid dancing and drums.  After waiting in a throng of the most obnoxious people on this planet (I’m convinced) we get to the front of the line right as they close the kiosks in an attempt to force us to move towards the concert hall.  There was almost a riot.  People were stealing food and yelling and chanting.  As far as community building went, all it made any of us want to do was fight.  Realizing that obtaining food is impossible at this point, Emily and I realized that we were (a) going to be starving for the next few hours and (b) were completely lost and separate from our group.  So we wandered toward the hall and somehow ended up at the restricted entrance by the front row.  Then we wandered in and no one stopped us.  So then we walked to two empty seats dead center of the second row and still no one stopped us.  So we sat down.  And were front row center for this ridiculous concert.  This guy named Mark pretended like we were part of his group so we didn’t get 

kicked out.  It was insane. None of the following pictures were taken with a zo!  

AAAAH only time to upload one and now leaving the hotel.... SORRY!

2. The Kotel.  I knew that everyone talked about the wailing wall as a holy place but I never thought it might actually affect me.  I thought it would be beautiful and a place to reflect but I never thought touching it would feel like raw emotion in every cell of my body.  It was incredible.  After several minutes of praying and reveling in the intangible amazingness that is the Kotel, I was interrupted by the woman next to me who began sobbing her prayers in Hebrew pretty loudly.  I wasn’t so surprised because I was also moved to tears but even though I couldn’t understand the Hebrew, her tone told me that this was entirely different.  I glanced over to see her staring up at the wall with her eyes shut in a posture of pure overwhelming grief holding a photograph to the wall.  I turned back to the wall and couldn’t pray or focus on anything because I was too stricken by this woman.  After a few minutes of feeling completely helpless and wishing I could comfort her in some way, I felt something on my hand.  Without looking at me, the woman had placed the photograph into the wall by my prayer and then placed her hand over mine.  We held hands and prayed and cried for a solid twenty minutes.  I don’t know that I have ever felt that much of a connection to a stranger in my life and I seriously doubt that I ever will again.  It was unspeakably beautiful.  I have changed my plans about a little bit in order to spend more time in Jerusalem and I’ll admit that the prospect of praying daily at the Kotel has motivated a lot of these plans. 

I also have made friends with a few Israelis between the soldiers who joined our group yesterday as our Israeli peers and our security guard Vered (means rose in Hebrew… what a coincidence!) who I sit next to on the bus.  I’ve haggled at market.  Generally, I just feel at home here.  I can’t wait for the next few months.  I’ll try to keep y’all updated more reliably but internet here has been patchy at best.  All my love!

The Eve of Everything

Not only do I leave for Israel tomorrow, I also am now an official Peace Corps invitee.  Which is nerve wracking. Because. I don't know where I'm going.  Due to a medical hold on my account, instead of just being invited to be a volunteer and then being given a placement, there's an extra step.  Once I am placed, my file has to be sent to the APCD (associate peace corps director) for that post to approve my file medically for whatever requirements the peace corps medical review people feel that I need - 3 hours from a hospital, a day from a specialist, etc. (clearly I still don't know exactly what they feel is appropriate).  So this is what I know.

- my file has been sent out to at least 3 placements just in case
- they really want me to leave in September
- if I get the one they want for me, it will be in West Africa in a francophone country
- if I get any of them, I leave September 25
- all of the programs are agriculture/ agroforestry (They're letting me do ag!!!!)
- the program they want for me is likely to accept me because they have a range of posts within the placement including rural, urban, and peri-urban programs.  So I could be in a city! weird!

So it seems like almost everything is settled, right? Except they didn't answer the biggest question of all. as in...

WHERE THE HECK AM I GOING?!

So of course I'm even more of a mess than I was before because I'm so close and so impatient and just want to know that this is all for real real not for play play.  Also.  I still have no concept that I leave for Israel tomorrow.  I'm so close but I really haven't put much thought into it between worrying about Peace Corps and trying to spend as much time as possible with LA before I leave.  I can kind of imagine what it's going to be like to do each of the individual activities but can't imagine the trip as a whole.  Or get any sense of the country.  I have such incomplete information and there's so much I want to know about Israel.  I'm really nervous about getting to my WWOOF sites after I go and getting a phone plan so that I can contact my WWOOF sites and even extending my ticket! I was waiting to hear from Peace Corps so I would know roughly when to get back but since my guess of September 25 was actually 100% correct, I could have made this flight fifty bajillion years ago.  There's so much to do in addition to the birthright trip during my first week in Israel.  I'm going to be a hot mess.  Off to Brooklyn to crash at emma leigh's and then Israel tomorrow.  Maybe if I say it enough times, I'll realize it's true.

I think LA has taken that approach because she keeps introducing me as her friend who's about to leave for Peace Corps (since it's simpler than the whole truth) and I keep looking around expecting to see her other friend.

So Many Butterflies in my Stomach That I Might Soon be Migratory

I know everybody and their mother is getting pretty tired of me talking about the Peace Corps application process.  I feel like 80% of the words that come out of my mouth are related to it.  But if it annoys you, think about what it must be doing to me.  I think I spend 98% of my time thinking about my application!  Yesterday I turned in (hopefully) the very last information that they need to make my placement.  Well, they need my transcript too but they can get that any time before I leave and UNC is being obnoxious.  So  my application status page is entirely checkmarks except for a new one that they added right on the bottom that says "Final Placement Review".  The email that I got from one of my placement officers (I say one of because they've been bouncing me around the office.... probably because they couldn't stand hearing from me five times a day) said that it would probably just be a week or so more.

Immediately after I turned in my updated resumé and French update (props to sonja for editing that), I got a call from LA saying she was done with work.  Of course, I was supposed to meet her at union square when she was done with work and I was nowhere near there.  So I struggled my way up to the 184th and Lexington subway stop and swiped myself in only to realize that I had gone to the uptown side.  I asked a cop whether there was any way to get around going out and swiping back in on the downtown side and he told me to go up one stop and then transfer to a downtown express which would be faster anyways.  As I was turning to go, an equally lost woman came hustling up to me explaining that she had made the same mistake and so I told her to follow me.  As we got on the bus, we started talking about our respective trips to New York and it came up in conversation (as it always does with me) that I was getting ready for Peace Corps service.

There was this stunned silence as she told me that she had just returned two months ago from her service in Nicaragua.  She had loved doing business development there so much that she had extended to four years.  I must have asked her 50 questions in the 10 minutes we were on the subway!  It's silly, but it felt right.  It felt like this was finally going to happen.  I feel like after each stage in the process I spend ages talking myself down and telling me not to get my hopes up.  Loads of people get to this point and then have to wait a year for their placement.  Or their placement changes a bajillion times.  On the train, this woman (who's name, I realize, I never found out) told me that her placement was really quick and that she got placed in five months.  If I really do get a placement within a week it will be right at four months for me.  She told me it was all going to work out, that Peace Corps is just like that, ambiguous, always up in the air and she told me that if I had gotten my medical clearance, it was going to happen some way or another.  I just hope it happens with my intended program in September in Ag Extension in Africa.

I woke up this morning and raced to check my application status and now that all the check marks are filled out it's just a waiting game.  Just sit here and stare at my email hoping news will pop up and it will be good.  I don't think I've ever had butterflies in my stomach quite like this.  Here's hoping for another calming subway encounter today :)