Dear Portland,

Now I only got to see your fine city for a week and I spent most of it holed up in a house in NW doing work, so I'm sure I didn't see Portland's finest... but I did get a good sense of the city and here are a few things that I think y'all should know if you don't already:

1.  You're GORGEOUS.  I mean stunning.  I probably nearly crashed about 12 times because the views over the river at sunset from the bridges are incredible.  Seriously.  There should be photo opportunities along the bridges.  I would have loved to have time to just stroll across the footbridges all day err' day.

2.  Upholstery is not just a modern thing you should eschew.  I know antique wooden chairs are cool and all but so is not having your ass hurt constantly.  Just a thought.  But it might save you from fleas, you might say.  I can personally say that sleeping on a wooden bench does not guarantee that you will not be attacked by Portland fleas.

3.  Kudos on the fact that y'all have an AWESOME chic/hipster restaurant on every single corner (and most spaces in between) serving locally sourced superfoods and asian fusions.  We had a bunch of recommendations for places to eat and I don't think we followed any of them because we would just walk in a random direction and pick a place.  Even the "burger joint" we decided on had locally sourced organic free range steak burgers.  Spot on, Portlandia.

4.  Too many single earrings and mullets.  This is not a David Bowie revival tour... it's a city.  Act accordingly.

5.  Stop being such a tease.  All of the mountains look so close and beautiful and ready to be scaled!  But a full day trip?  Please consult with Denver about appropriate mountain distance to your metropolitan area.  I think that that would seriously bump Portland's stock.  Plus... think of all the mountain products you could more readily stock in your hip restaurants.  Not to mention all of the business for the approximately fifty bajillion hiking stores I saw about town.

Please take these comments to heart.  Or don't.  Just keep doing what you're doing.

-Arima Rose